You have given so much

Protection to your siblings
Dedication to your mum
Your body to your children
Your best to others who
Didn’t know how to appreciate it

And you are tired
From all the orchestration
All the provision
Making sure people were cared for
Occasions were observed
That life was as safe and as comfortable
As you could imagine it

Now your life is shifting
Your kids grown up
Friendships teetering
Business growing
A new home
And
A new lover
All so quickly you
Can barely catch your breath

And it is all so wonderful and complicated
And liberating and risky
In unexpected and unfamiliar ways
And you ask, can I do this?
Have I got the energy?
Is it worth it?
Is all the effort worth it?

So you look around your life
With all its challenges
And all its comforts
All its redundancy
And all its promise
And your heart flutters
At the prospect of saying yes
And at the prospect of saying no
For fear of losing or gaining
Something wanted or unwanted
And you don’t know
You don’t know what to do

So you retreat and wait
For the deep unknowable
To move in you
To process what it needs to process
To let go of what needs releasing
So you might find stillness
And clarity can come again …

Then you remember
From here
It’s impossible to make a good
Or bad choice
To take right or wrong action
That there is only choice
And choices from this place
Always come from the biggest part of yourself
No matter how weak or strong
Or right or wrong they may appear to be

Love is here in your fight
Love is here in your surrender
It’s in the strength of your words
The distance in your eyes
The kindness in your touch
And I will be loving you
Near or far through all of it
No matter the choices you make